I’m living in the midst of a second remodel in our 3 years of marriage. My mini-kitchen that I’ve set up in our dining room looks more like a campsite with my portable stove and the endless dust and dirt that ventures over from our demoed kitchen three feet away. Let’s be honest. We’re basically eating in a construction site.
Carl and I have “kitchen” on the brain. We’re eating, sleeping, and breathing kitchen decisions right now. Carl will even wake up in the middle of the night thinking of what kind of crown molding we should have on our cabinets. I spend every spare moment scouring the internet pricing out different options and trying to figure out what an air switch is. We are currently in cabinet decision mode. Do we have inset or overlay? Stained or glazed? Shaker or…???
These cabinet decisions are reminding me of a conversation I had about 7 years ago with one of my comrades in the single days. We were sharing about how bored we were with the same prayer request – the same longing and hoping that God would provide a spouse. We were so bored with that request that we just took a break from praying about it completely. Instead, we just hoped to be on the other side… knowing full well there would be plenty of other challenges awaiting us in marriage. Other struggles, decisions, and compromises that would eat up our mental space and keep us up at night… like making decisions on kitchen cabinets. And, here I am. I’m no longer praying for a spouse, but cabinets are front and center.
And please don’t misinterpret this. I am in no way comparing cabinet decision making to waiting in singleness. That kind of waiting is some of the hardest I know – long, cruel, arduous, messy. I remember going to a church women’s retreat in my mid-thirties and attending a seminar on this lovely topic of waiting. When I entered the room, I was taken aback by the married women milling around. What were they doing here? What could they possibly be waiting for? I mean, isn’t the only thing we’re waiting for a spouse? I was obviously in a cloud of my own misery. That seminar was an eye-opening reminder that we are always in the process of waiting for something – waiting for that test result, waiting to conquer the cancer that’s entered our body, waiting to get pregnant, waiting for a loved one to come back home. That seminar knocked some sense and perspective into me. Ultimately, we’re all longing for home – where the worries of this world will disappear and the deepest longings of our heart will be satisfied.
In Christy Nockels song, Waiting Here for You, she shares about this longing and how in the midst of it, we are waiting for our God…
Waiting here for you
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it’s you we adore
You are everything you’ve promised
Your faithfulness is true
And we’re desperate for your presence
All we need is you
** I highly encourage you to listen to this song by clicking on the song title above.